When I was in junior high school, we read a story which applies strangely to daygame, too.
It was about a boy who hunted raccoons. So his grandpa gave him some advice.
“Put a shiny coin in a hole in a log,” grandpa said. “The clever racoon will see it and will reach in to get it out.”
“Oh yeah, old man?” said the grandson. “So what?”
“The racoon is a greedy creature,” said the grandfather. “So he won’t let go of that shiny coin. And that’s why he won’t be able to get his paw out of the hole. It’s a perfect trap.”
“You’re a perfect old fogey,” said the grandson, “and I’ve had enough of your ramblings.”
It was a long time ago that I read that story, and I’m not sure about the exact dialogue. But I thought of it just now because I was reviewing my daygame session from today.
I was struggling for a good part of it.
And at one point, I sat down on a bench and had a dialogue with myself, which was almost as nasty as the one above between the grandson and grandfather.
NEGATIVE ME: “Why don’t you go home and stop fooling yourself?”
POSITIVE ME: “Because I want to stay out and get the approaches done that I’d planned.”
NEGATIVE ME: “Sure you do. But you’re not doing shit. So what’s gonna change?”
POSITIVE ME: “I’ll do a quick approach right now. I’ll break through my approach resistance!”
And so I stopped debating with myself, and I started walking around, determined to find a girl to approach.
But it turns out that’s almost always a mistake, at least in my case.
When I get all determined like I did today, all that happens is that I become physically and mentally tense. And I make it even harder for myself to approach.
I’m like that stupid racoon who won’t let go of the shiny thing, and who keeps being trapped with his paw in the log.
Relaxing and letting go of the determination to approach — right here, right now, the very next girl who comes up — actually makes it easier to approach, and more likely that I will succeed.
And maybe, if you suffer from similar racoon tendencies as I do, this will help you as well.