I’ve been struggling with approaching again.
Partly, it has to do with the absence of women around town. It’s August 1st today, the peak of the summer season, and the city has finally emptied out.
But something else is going on, too.
I’m not exactly sure what, but most likely, it’s the same old stuff. And when I look at it more closely, it’s a weird combination of factors:
A need for control…
Over things I cannot control (eg. how an approach will go)…
Born out of a fundamental lack of trust in myself…
Which goes back decades to some childhood traumas.
“It’s just how I am.” That’s the easy conclusion. “I keep trying to change but I’m just not strong enough.” That’s an idea that keeps popping up into my head.
So today, I just want to bring up a book I’m reading right now, which addresses this exact situation.
It’s called Reinventing Your Life, and it’s written by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko. These two are psychologists or psychiatrists or therapists (I never know which is which) who seem to specialize in people who suffer from fixed patterns of destructive thoughts which they calls “lifetraps.”
Lifetraps are long-running.
They are destructive.
And they seek to reinforce themselves.
All of this makes it hard to change a lifetrap and escape its grip.
But according to this book, it is possible.
And if it is possible, it’s certainly worthwhile.
So if you too are doing daygame, but you are actually struggling with deeper, fundamental issues as well, the book might be worth a look. I’ve found it very helpful so far.