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Scarcity and the middle-of-the-road approach

She was coming towards me again.

I’d seen her earlier, on the other side of the road, while I was walking through the park. I didn’t approach then.

But now, here she was again, coming up towards me on the street.

She was a large and sexy girl, wearing a blue summer dress. Her giant tits and her giant ass were bouncing violently as she marched down the street.

I let her pass by me and then I turned after her.

She was about to hit an intersection.

I ran to catch her in the few yards of remaining space, but…

She started to cross the street sideways, even before hitting the intersection. And she practically ran into me while I was trying to get in front of her.

So I stopped her right there, in the middle of the road.

“Hello. I just want to tell you one thing.”

She was a little bit amused and a great deal confused. I couldn’t get her to stay there in the middle of the road with me.

So why am I bringing this up?

I just watched a section of the Daygame Blueprint where Yad says he will stalk the girl, following her until he find a good spot to approach. It’s just a reflection of the abundance mindset he’s got.

And I think that’s right.

But I’m not in abundance right now. I’m in scarcity. And stalking girls will make it more likely I get awkward and nervous… or even cop out altogether.

So in these early days, it’s better to have stupid mid-road approaches, than to pretend that I am more successful and accomplished than I actually am.

And if you are not yet at Yad’s level, or somewhere close, then maybe you too should consider approaching girls as soon as you can, instead of waiting for the optimal situation.

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Remember daygame is for you

A while back, when I was really struggling to approach, I tried lots of different strategies to break through the resistance.

And eventually, I succeeded.

I then wrote down all the things I had been trying and telling myself to do.

There were 8 or 9 of them. Anyways, I want to bring up #2 on this list today.

Because I found myself walking through an abandoned part of town this morning — for fear of going to the same streets I’d been walking on all last week.

And then I told myself:

“You’re doing all this for you.”

This reminded me of item #2 on my approach resistance list, which reads:

“Remember it’s for you. So you can feel good, so you feel you’re making progress. Remember there’s no better feeling than a successful day of sarging.”

Maybe it’s not clear how the two things connect.

I’m not sure myself at this point.

But they do connect.

And it’s worth remembering that daygame is for you.

Not just for the results you will get.
not just for the approval or even for the transformations it will bring.

But for you, on some really fundamental level of your own soul.

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The best way to be enthusiastic while daygaming

A while ago, I read Frank Bettger’s How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling.

Along with being recommended by some top-flight marketing birds, this book is also featured in the nostalgic soft-core porn Barcelona, in which the earnest and nerdy main character reads it to his plump, uncomprehending secretary.

Anyways, Bettger’s book has many good lessons, whether you are a failure in selling or pickup.

Such as for example, his very first lesson.

More than a hundred years ago, Bettger started out as a professional baseball player. But was afraid of failure, and so he didn’t put in all the effort he could.

His coach called him into the office and told him he’s being let go.

“If you didn’t drag around the field like a limp noodle,” the coach said, “maybe you’d have a place on this team.”

Bettger took this lesson to heart.

And the next time he got a spot on a team, he became the most enthusiastic little baseballer that the great American pastime had ever seen.

He ran like an escaped convict to first base.

He threw himself at every ground ball regardless of how far it was.

He wore a smile and he radiated positive energy and verve while in the field.

His enthusiasm soon made him a much better player, and his salary was something like tripled (though back then baseball players basically worked for peanuts and hot dogs).

And did you catch how Bettger became so enthusiastic and successful?

If you didn’t, he spells it out in his book:

“The best way to be enthusiastic is to act enthusiastic”

Of course, it’s possible to overdo this.

But odds are good that right now you too are a limp noodle when it comes to daygame.

And whether it’s a matter of going out onto the street, running after a fast-moving tart in heels, or stopping her with a flashing smile, you could probably use some more forced enthusiasm.

I know I could. And that’s why I will remember Frank Bettger when I go out for my daygame sesh tomorrow morning.

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The cliff reframe

A few days ago, I wrote about reframing as a way of moving forward when daygame goes bad.

But finding the right reframe is like digging around in a big box of stuffed toys, looking for one that somehow speaks to you over all the others.

In other words, it’s not easy and it’s not automatic to find a good reframe.

No matter.

If you come up with 20 reframes, odds are good at least a few will mean something to you. So here’s one that I thought of a few days ago:

Imagine a cliff.

Waves crash up against that cliff.

Sometimes the rhythm is right and there’s a satisfying splash when the wave hits.

Other times, it’s just a meek plop.

And still other times, one receding wave cancels another, and there’s nothing hitting the cliff at all.

But the cliff keeps getting shaped all the time bit by bit. And it doesn’t much care what kind of wave hits it. It’s in for the long haul.

And that’s how it is with every daygame approach you do and every daygame session you go out for.

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The missing ingredient when girls ignore you on the street

Two girls ignored me today.

I approached one of them on a small side street. I had to jog after her a good distance. Eventually, I got in front of her and said, “Excutes me.”

“Yes,” she said as she walked around me.

“I just want to tell you one thing.”

She kept walking. “I’m in a hurry.”

The other girl was walking slowly on one of the main streets. I got in front of her. “What?” she barked at me.

“I wanted to tell you that you look nice.”

“Thank you,” she said with a scowl and walked on.

I’ve been practicing my approaches, and I’ve been working on two things:

Smiling.

And having good eye contact.

Which are both important. But not 100% enough.

There’s another critical thing which I was reminded of today as I was rewatching the Daygame Blueprint.

“You need 100% conviction,” says Yad.

That’s a vague inner game thing but it matters. In practical terms, it means you have to get all the way in front of the girl… fully intercepting her path (“standing on her rails”)… and in a way, blocking out the sun with your magnificence.

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Don’t be serious in daygame, even as a joke

A few days ago, I stopped girl in a colorful jumpsuit rushing to work through a park.

I guess I didn’t do a good job with the approach, so she was a little startled and shocked.

So I decided to run with it.

I got serious as a joke, telling her she looks, in solemn tons, very nice. And that her jumpsuit is, seriously, very nice and colorful.

I thought it was obvious that I wasn’t actually dying. I thought the fact that I was complimenting her out of nowhere would be enough for her to light up with a smile.

It wasn’t. She thanked me but she excused herself with a concerned look, because she’s running to work after all.

In short, don’t get serious in daygame, especially during the approach.

Even as a joke.

Girls can’t tell you’re joking, and they won’t get a good vibe from your seriousness.

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My daygame mission & purpose

It’s good to have a mission & purpose for just about everything in life.

Because when you’re out in the shit, and grenades are exploding all around your head, and your brain wants to go into full-flight mode, a mission and purpose keeps you aligned, so you can make decisions that take you a little closer to your goal.

This applies to every kind of human interaction. And of course, to daygame.

So here’s my daygame mission and purpose. It’s to make the girl feel:

– safe
– comfortable
– that there’s no pressure on her and that this interaction is light
– that she’s having fun
– and that I like her genuinely, for herself at her best

This mission & purpose doesn’t say anything about what I get out of this or what I want. Because the mission and purpose has to be in your adversary’s — err, your target’s — world.

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When it’s ok to stupid-eject from a daygame set

I stopped girl in a park this morning. She was young, she had a fine body, and she was wearing some kind of gymmy black outfit.

And it was going well.

She said she’s going to work, but she didn’t make any move to leave. She seemed relieved that I was hitting on her. She was telling me about how she’s moved to the city and how it’s better than where she’s from. She laughed at my jokes.

So I ejected.

I told her I won’t keep her any longer, but it was nice talking to her.

She looked deflated but she went.

What else could she do?

Of course, this was eating at me later. In fact, as soon as I’d ejected. I could have stuck it out. Pushed more. Probably gotten the number.

But even though this was all running through my head…

It wasn’t a mistake to eject.

I’m still getting back on the daygame horse.

And the watchword is: Go slow and make progress.

It’s much more important to be consistent, and to consistently progress, than to be eager and go for the gun right away.

If you keep it up, go out every day, and do a bit more every day, you’ll get plenty of numbers in just another week.

On the other hand, if you get overeager and crash and burn, you might ask or even get a number today — and then never get another number ever.

Again, the key is consistent work and progress, however slow.

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How to adapt after you crumble under mounting daygame pressure and routine

Today was a total daygame failure. I did one approach — which went well — and then I got nervous and didn’t do any more.

I’d been making solid progress over the past week, but it seems my mind and body are revolting. So I thought of different ways to deal with this. Maybe you will find one of them useful:

1. Schedule in breaks. Plan a day when you won’t approach, or when you will approach less than you would normally.

2. Change locations. Go to a new part of town where you don’t normally approach. Or go to a new town altogether.

3. Break up the work throughout the day.

4. Take microbreaks. Lie down or sit down. Go into your mental quiet room. During the daygame session itself, and during the rest of the day as well.

5. Make it into a game. Approach only girls wearing white pants. Compare each girl to some superhero. Accuse each girl of a different dangerous or shady profession.

6. Reframe. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger who said he really got successful as a bodybuilder when he started to see pain as weakness leaving his body. Search for a similar reframe that you can believe in.

7. Take two steps back. Take some weight off, just like bodybuilders do. Except I find that taking one step back is often not enough. The mind knows that the the step at which it failed is just around the corner. That’s why it’s better to take two steps back, and then gradually ramp up again.

8. Keep fueled up. Sleep, food, water. Also having social interactions… reducing money worries… minimizing external stress or anxiety.

9. High to low to high. Alternate doing the hardest first while you have energy, and then the easiest and most pleasant when you need a break. And then go back high.

10. Keep problem solving. Tried all of the above? None of it worked? Keep looking for new ideas, inside yourself and outside, for how to keep motivated and active.

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10 surprising things that have happened to me during daygame

Here are 10 surprising things that have happened to me during daygame — not today, but over my long and patchy daygame career:

1. I stopped a slow-moving, bored-looking, curiously dressed girl. I gave her my usual spiel and she neither engaged nor made a move to go. So I kept talking. She listened blankly but again made no move to go. Then, an older woman, who I suppose was her mother, walked up, put her arms around the girl, and swept her away. I thought the girl was in her early 20s. But it turned out she was still very much a teenager.

2. I stopped a girl and she recognized me. She knew all sorts of things about me, about my job, about my background. I realized that I must have stopped her at some point earlier, but I completely could not remember. I played it cool. She hinted in many ways that she was available now so I took her number. But while we were trying to set up the first date over text, she had a moral crisis and decided she couldn’t come out for a drink after all.

3. This didn’t happen during daygame but after: I went to a friend’s house for poker. Other people were coming as well, including a couple. The girl of the couple said, “Oh you stopped me on the street last week. You said I looked nice.” I didn’t remember. But she did.

4. I stopped a girl on the street. I was nervous because I was just getting back into daygame after a long break. “If you have to go, no problem,” I told her. “I don’t have to go,” she said. Me: “I was just going to get a coffee. Do you want to sit down for a coffee with me?” Her: “How about a beer?” It was 1pm.

5. I normally never do “warmup” sets but I tried it once. I stopped a girl and told her she looks nice and to have a great day. I kept walking down the street feeling good about myself. Then I heard footsteps behind me — somebody was running after me. It was the girl. “Would you like to have coffee with me?” she asked. That killed the rest of the daygame session.

6. I stopped a girl who was having a smoke outside of a metro entrance. I asked her if she spoke English. She said yes. I tried telling her how she looks nice, but it was obvious she doesn’t understand me. I tried to use simpler words and to talk slower. She was getting annoyed. Finally she yelled at me in Hungarian to go away and to leave her alone.

7. I ran to stop a girl on a medium-empty street. She clutched her bag and ran away.

8. I stopped a girl who was an international model. There were dozens of girls out that day who I thought were prettier and sexier than her.

9. I stopped a girl once and when I was done, a guy walked up to me and asked what I was doing. I told him I could teach him the same but he said he couldn’t do it.

10. I stopped a girl and told her she looks good. She tried to keep up her end of the conversation but it was obvious that she was close to breaking out in tears. Eventually she started crying. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I saw her on the street a few weeks later. We talked again. I never found out why she was crying that day.