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3 ways to conserve energy during daygame

There’s this one video by RSDTyler that’s stuck with me for years.

In the video, Tyler talks about ways to conserve energy while doing pickup.

Actually, he promotes it by saying it will give you godlike levels of energy.

I don’t know about that, but I would be happy just not to get run down. Anyways, Tyler has 3 pieces of advice:

1. Don’t think about whether you should approach. Just think about how to approach.
2. Don’t judge yourself. Every approach is 1000 out of 10.
3. Don’t play a part. (Or something like that. Basically, don’t be a try-hard PUA, and instead “just be yourself”)

I think these are good rules but they don’t fully click with me when I’m on the streets.

So while I was walking around the past few days, I tweaked them so they make more sense for daygame:

1. Don’t think about approaching. All that thinking and resolutions to approach ahead of time don’t do anything except exhaust you. Count on that moment of effort at the right time. The rest of the time, think about something else.

2. Don’t judge yourself. This one says as Tyler had it. If there is some obvious lesson, note it, and move on. Every approach is 1000 out of 10.

3. Don’t think about what you will say. Allow the void in and use it. Don’t stress about what to say before the approach or during the approach. Use the void. Use the tension. And remember it’s mostly abot subcommuncation anyways.

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Kegels for daygame

One of my excuses for not doing daygame is:

“What’s the point? I have no interest in sex.”

And it’s true. For years now, have had very little libido, and mostly chasing girls as a way of self-improvement.

I’ve looked into all possible explanations of what the hell is wrong with me, and haven’t figure out out anything useful.

But perhaps the first advice is the best advice.

Because if you ever check any kind male sexual health issue, the first tip you will find is kegels.

The thing is, I tried kegels. 20 years ago. And a bunch of times since.

They never seemed to do anything for me. Except maybe make my erections worse.

But maybe I’ve been doing kegels wrong all along.

Because if you ever check the many scientific papers out there about the kegel benefits for male sexual health, you’ll find something like this:

“The study kicked off with a 2-week biofeedback period during which we trained the subjects to actually identify and activate their pelvic floor muscles.”

This flies in the fact of the standard advice of — to figure out how to do a kegel, simply stop taking a piss and realize what muscles you used.

And in fact, I’ve been experimenting with a different kind of kegel lately.

It’s too early to tell, but it seems to be creating improvements, and possibly big improvements.

For now, if you want to read a bit of very unscientific treatment on how to do kegels the right way, you might like the following:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PIED/comments/7rvg88/ischiocavernosus_ic_muscle_cured_my_peed_and_low/

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12 reasons why I hate daygame weekends

1. The city is empty compared to weekdays.

2. The few streets where there are people are too crowded.

3. Everybody’s paired up in couples instead of walking nice and alone.

4. Nobody is out in the morning when I like to go out, and I have to wait for the midday heat.

5. Shopping malls? Does everybody live in a shopping mall during the weekend?

6. The weekends really only come alive in the evening. And that’s when I go to bed.

7. I feel like more of a stalker on a weekend than on the weekdays.

8. If I do run into daygame competition, it’s more likely to happen on the weekend.

9. If I do run into random other streetside competition, like gypsies trying to get you to sign a petition for the deaf so they can claim you owe them money, it’s more likely to happen on the weekend.

10. Everybody goes to family lunches.

11. On Sunday’s there’s church. How can you chase girls with implied offers of sex when they are on their way to church? I’m not Giaccomo Casanova.

12. I lose all my momentum and routine that I built up during the week.

Anyways, that’s my whining rant. And 12 reasons I didn’t approach today.

None of which are good enough.

And now the question becomes, what will I do to adapt? Hhow will I problem-solve, so this doesn’t happen again?

Maybe this weekend conundrum isn’t relevant to you. But odds are you’ve got some sticking points, too. So don’t copy my rant above if it doesn’t apply to you. But do copy my attitude of finding a way to adapt and to move across, around, or through whatever barrier is in front of you right now.

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Commandment III of Poon

Over the past few days, I’ve been texting with a couple of girls.

One is a girl I’ve already slept with and have kept in contact with.

The other is a new lead.

Each of them writes me throughout the day.

And I write back.

But here’s the trouble:

I’ve found myself checking the phone, hoping that one of them had written.

It’s the typical addiction that comes from having a cell phone — but it’s made worse by the fact I like these girls and I enjoy the conversation.

But it’s no good.

It’s not good to feel this way, for my own mental health.

It’s not good for my productivity.

And it’s also not a good way to keep these girls interested. Not if they are cool and attractive, and they want a cool, attractive man.

Because if I keep this up, then sooner or later, in some subtle way, it will become obvious that the best thing in my life right now is having a couple of exciting text conversations — which is a pretty shit life to have.

And this brings up one of the 16 commandments of poon by Roissy aka Heartiste. Specifically, commandment III:

“You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority”

As a guy, you have to have your own life to live.

You have to have plans that make you interested and happy.

And you have to be ok whether this girl comes or goes.

Of course, this is a good way to live your life, because you look for happiness within, where you’re much more likely to find it than in somebody else’s hands.

But it’s also the best way to attract girls — particularly cool, attractive girls.

So the next time you find yourself reaching for that phone to see if you have any messages from girls you’ve closed recently, ask yourself:

How could I be using my time in a better way right now?

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The daygame priority hierarchy

I went out on the streets today to do daygame after a week-long break.

My goal was to do 3 approaches.

I only did 1.

Because that first approach was a pretty Portuguese girl who was looking for a cafe. We started talking, had a coffee together, spent the next 40 minutes together, and made plans to hang out in the afternoon.

I didn’t feel guilty heading home after that.

And I was grateful that I hadn’t been stupid enough in the morning to simply tell her, “Yeah, the cafe’s that way, just keep walking and you’ll find it, bye.”

An instant date takes priority over more new approaches.

A new girl takes priority over a girl you’ve already seen.

Experiences that stretch you, or positive experiences that build your state, take priority over mindless (though important) routine practice.

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10 things I learned from a mini-honeymoon with a 21-year-old girl

I just came back from a 5-day trip with a 21-year-old girl I met through daygame a year ago. Here are some things I learned in these 5 days:

1. Women mature faster than men. And some women, such as this 21-year-old, are more mature and experienced than most 40-year-old guys I know.

2. Some people have a problem with impulse control. It’s common in teenagers. But it can stick around even later. This girl could go wild — drinking, drugs, partying. She knew it and she didn’t mind. The next day, she would just laugh about it. “Why am I like this?”

3. Every time i need motivation for daygame, I should remember this experience. I met this girl a year ago on the street in my home town. We talked for 5 minutes, then went on an instant date for 30 minutes. She was just passing through and her plane left in a couple of hours. I took her contacts and we stayed in touch over the last year. And now we met up in a foreign city and had a great 5 days together.

4. Cocaine is a common drug among party goers, even in Europe.

5. There is a class of girls who are looking for fun, very openly. Sex is part of that fun. But it’s not all they want.

6. Some girls genuinely have a thing for older men.

7. Sex at age 15 with your father’s best friend, who is close to 40, doesn’t have to be traumatic or scar a girl for life. In fact it’s possible the girl will grow up to  be happy and stable.

8. My own sex drive, which I have been suspicious of lately, seems to get back to healthy levels when I have a limited-time opportunity to have sex with a new girl.

9. Girls can get too drunk to care much about sex.

10. There’s a whole world of fun and adventure and affection out there. It doesn’t seem like it when I sit alone at home for weeks. but it’s true.

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6-day hiatus

I’m traveling over the next 6 days. There won’t be any daygame — I think. And I won’t be posting here until next Wednesday, when I will attempt to get back on the regular daygame horse.

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The magically disappearing daygame audience

I was on an abandoned street today when I saw a little blonde girl coming towards me.

She seemed mean.

To make things worse, there was a man walking a few steps behind her. He would be certain to see my making my daygame approach.

Somehow, I steeled myself and turned around and ran in front of the girl.

She turned out to be very sweet. A Finnish girl, in town for a few more hours, before she leaves for a sailing trip. We talked and she seemed a little sad when I let her go. It was stupid of me — I should at least gotten her contacts so we could stay in touch.

But the real point happened afterwards.

Because I realized the guy who was walking behind her completely disappeared.

He must have passed while I was talking to the girl. But I didn’t see him at all.

That’s part of the 100% commitment that should be there for every approach.

And it’s a little lesson for for the next time you think there’s an audience and it’s keeping you from approaching. These people can vanish magically. All you have to do is to make a 100% committed approach.

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Is this the best stationary daygame opener?

Here’s a problem:

I only really feel comfortable approaching girls using the Yad stop.

It’s not a HUGE problem, because most girls in the city are walking. But not all.

Some are sitting. Some are standing around.

Now it seems like the typical daygame routine would work just as well on stationary girls. And I have used it, and it can work.

But I also feel like there’s something off.

I just watched a video from Yad where he’s basically saying, “Don’t go direct in your opener with stationary girls.”

Instead, says Yad, use a cheeky situational opener (“Is this the best coffee shop in all of New York?”) and count on your vibe to make it clear to the girl there’s something sexy going on.

I’ll have to try this.

But I’m still not 100% convinced.

Because another master of daygame, Jim Camp, will tell you that in any negotiation, you don’t ever want to take away your adversary’s right to say no.

If you do, you make them uncomfortable. And you won’t reach a long-term solution that way.

Stopping a girl who’s walking on the street completely preserves her right to say no. She can always say, “Thank, but I’ve really got to go.” And then she can leave.

Not so with a stationary girl. So how to preserve her right to say no, without weakly verbalizing it? I don’t know, but I’ll keep searching for an answer.

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The most tired word in the daygame lexicon

I was walking around the city today, in between daygame approaches, and I had a few moments where my thoughts melted away.

I was just looking at the street around me, feeling the air, enjoying the buildings and the summer light.

I was what you might call “present.”

Now over the past 10-15 years I’ve gotten really tired of this worn-out word. I’m tired of the big and unsupported promises that are made for mindfulness and being present.

But still, there is a lot of value in trying to be a little more present if you are doing daygame. For example, in overcoming approach anxiety, or what I tend to suffer from, approach resistance.

Not that you cannot approach if you’re not present.

But almost by definition, anxiety happens by imagining the future.

And so if you are present, you won’t get anxiety. Simple as that.

So how do you get more present and stop thinking about the future?

Well, you beat yourself whenever you notice your thoughts wondering off. “STOP IT!” you say to yourself.

And you find some local thing to focus your thoughts on instead. Of course, it won’t work. Not this time. And probably, not the next time, either. But over a longer period, you might find yourself thinking about the future less, and therefore feeling less anxious.

And therefore approaching more easily.